Guinea pigs should never talk without thinking about what they are with their resident evil. So be nice to them, or you will suffer the incredible pain caused by your innards getting turned inside out, though the possibility of having angered a guinea pig is far lower than having a whole bunch of squirells wanting to scratch out an acorn out of your spleen. But you should never beat squirells with a floppy pancake, unless you want to make some hippie rights protests.
Additionally, trying to avoid guinea pigs will result in giant eyeballs flying around with Glowworms towing them to the underground digging sites. Of course, everyone knows waffles with roasted guinea pig makes great seasoning.
However, if you have accidentally eaten a live guinea pig , beware the awesome Jackalyn the Necromancer, who Jack the Ripper skillztastically robbed and has come back from Madagascar to steal candy from every single evil ninja hamster in the universe.
Additionally, every rodent who has a tank is believed to have done a kamikaze against the army of guinuepigs and managed pitiful aerial attacks which failed, which means that humanity and sentient life could be gone before next Sunday,
Luckily everyone survived with minor brain damage caused by rodents who eat away the dark matter of the human soul, although not quite gnawing at the bloody carcass of one. Personally i never seen Dr. Pepper without a bag of pepper and brown sugar. Therefore, i also can concur that it was a major flaw in





